


What are the odds?

by meyretzka (stuckay)



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Clubbing, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Neighbors, but not actual smut bc I can't write that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 18:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8500486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckay/pseuds/meyretzka
Summary: "Max had had enough! His new neighbour had just moved in next door three weeks ago and he was already ruining his life."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly idk what this is. I saw [this post](http://cheezburger.com/1104389/guy-leaves-passive-aggressive-note-for-neighbors-to-quiet-down) on facebook and my brain went staight to fic writing mode. Sorry if it's shit.

Max had had enough! His new neighbour had just moved in next door three weeks ago and he was already ruining his life. In the little time that he had been living here he’d had sex exactly 9 times. Max knew because he heard it loud and clear every single time. And it was starting to get on his nerves. It was loud, it was awkward and, to be honest, it was also unfair that his neighbour would have so much of it when Max didn’t get any at all.

Max wasn’t sure if it was always the same person but based on the fact that it mostly occurred late at night on weekends he supposed it wasn’t. He didn’t have any problem with his neighbour sleeping around and having one-night stands (he himself wasn’t of the chaste kind either), if only he could do it a bit more quietly!

In his desperation to finally sleep peacefully again he decided to write his neighbour a note; because really, he didn’t want to discuss some stranger’s sex life face to face. He thought long and hard about how to phrase his concern without coming off as rude or creepy. Even though he was annoyed he had decided to act like an adult and approach this matter calmly. He had even bought a card to write his note on.

About half an hour later he finally managed to come up with something he felt was appropriate. He read through it one more time to check for any mistakes or any unintended underlying passive-aggressiveness:

_Dear neighbour,_

_I was hoping I wouldn’t have to address this but I couldn’t help but notice that you tend to have sex quite loudly. I’m asking you to please tone it down a bit as I would very much like to sleep and also not be reminded of how lonely I am. I’m in no way judging you! Go ahead and do the nasty as much as you want, please just be a bit more considerate of your neighbours next time around._

_Thank you!_

Satisfied with the result he put the card into his neighbour’s mailbox. Now all he could do was wait and hope for the best.

-

The following night went by without any further disturbances which Max had kind of expected since it was only Wednesday. What he didn’t expect though, was stepping onto a piece of paper lying on the floor behind his door when he entered his apartment after coming back from university the next day.

Confused, he bent down to pick it up. The front showed Justin Bieber holding up a sign that said ‘Sorry’ and the words ‘Is it too late now to say’ hastily written above.

He turned it around and to read what was written on the back:

_Hello there neighbour,_

_(I guess it was you who wrote me that card since you live right next door)_

_That's quite a first impression I left on you, isn't it? I'm very, very sorry about that! I promise I'll ‘do the nasty’ at a lower volume next time ;D_

Max chuckled.

_And hey, if you want we can go clubbing one day? I’ll be your wingman and get you laid so I can make up for the inconveniences I caused you and then you can be as loud as you want. I won’t complain!_

_But seriously, I'm very sorry for stealing your sleep, won't happen again!_

_Leon_

_P.S. Sorry for the improv card, I didn't have the time to buy a proper one._

Max read over the second part again. Was he serious? He didn’t know if Leon’s offer was sincere or, if it was, if he even wanted to accept it. He didn’t even know the guy.

But come to think of it, it had been a long time since he went for a night out and maybe this could be an opportunity to get to know Leon better. And besides, he was really starting to believe he was in desperate need of a wingman.

On the spur of the moment Max decided he’d just roll with it. What could go wrong?

He quickly wrote his answer on a blank piece of paper and slid it under Leon’s door.

He didn’t have to wait long for Leon to respond as another note was pushed under his door the same evening.

_Awesome!!! I’ll be there Friday @11. Be prepared to have the best night of your life! ;)_

Max was a bit taken aback by how enthusiastically Leon had agreed to actually take him with him but took it as a good sign. This could actually turn out to be quite fun.

-

When Friday came around, however, Max wasn’t so sure he’d actually wanted to go through with this anymore. He didn’t know a single thing about his neighbour except that he was loud in bed. He could already see the night turn into an awkward mess where both of them had nothing interesting to say and were boring themselves to death. At the end he’d go home without company, again, and Leon’s night would also be ruined.

He was about to cancel this whole thing when his doorbell rang. Shit! Was it 11 already? Biting his lower lip nervously he looked around the room. The doors of his wardrobe were thrown wide open and several of his shirts were carelessly disregarded on the floor. The one he was wearing was only halfway buttoned up and his hair was a total mess.

Still barefooted, he tapped towards his door and opened it to reveal a grinning Leon and embarrassingly, the first words that came to Max’s mind were _Shit, he’s tall. And hot._ which inevitably caused Taylor Swift’s Wildest Dreams to get stuck in his head. Those damn memes!

Max had caught glimpses of Leon here and there but he had never seen him up close until now and it took him a bit too long to find his voice again.

Meanwhile, Leon was examining his current state and furrowed his brows. “You wanna go out like that?”

Max cleared his throat. “Uh no, sorry… time management isn’t exactly my area of expertise.”

Leon smirked. “I can see that.”

“Yeah…” Max laughed awkwardly. “You wanna come in?” Stepping out of the way he held the door open so Leon could enter before vanishing into his bedroom. “I’ll be ready in two.”

-

They were standing by the bar, looking at the dancefloor and Leon kept pointing out girls to him that he considered ‘hot’ or ‘totally bangable’. Max was only half listening and continued to reject Leon’s proposals, instead thinking about how long he was able and willing to hold up this charade. This had been a terrible idea. Everything was turning out like he had feared it would. Why had he thought agreeing to this would actually help?

At some point though, Leon must’ve noticed his disinterest because he leaned over to nudge him with his elbow. “Dude, do you or do you not want to get laid tonight? You gotta lower your standards a bit!”

Max grimaced. It seemed like now was as good a time as any to tell him. “Yeah, well, um…. girls aren't really my type.”

Leon turned his head to look at him incredulously. “Why haven't you told me? This is a complete waste of time!” He took Max’s drink out of his hand and put it down on the bar along with his own. “We're leaving!” He grabbed Max by his arm and pulled him towards the exit.

Once they were outside Max thought Leon was just going to abandon him and go home but Leon kept walking in the other direction so Max followed him. “Uh, where are we going?”

“To the nearest gay club, where else?”

Max stopped dead in his tracks. “You don’t have a problem with that?”

“Hey, my mission tonight is to make sure you get some, not me. Now, are you coming with me or what?”

Max was surprised by Leon’s willingness to give up the chance of hooking up with someone in favour of making sure he got the chance instead. They didn’t even know each other that well but Max felt like Leon was really taking this whole wingman thing very seriously. Leon still looked at him expectantly. Thinking about it, he realised that this could only make things better. At least now, the odds of actually finding someone he’d like to spend the night with were about to rise immensely.

“Yeah, sure, why not?”

-

“What about him?” They were sitting at a bar table in one corner of the club and Leon was pointing at a young man leaning against the wall opposite of them.

“I don’t know… He’s cute but seems kind of… aloof?”

“Okay, you know what? I thought coming here would make you more susceptible to my suggestions but turns out you’re a fucking chicken. You need more alcohol!” With that he left Max and made his way over to the bar. He returned a few minutes later with a tray that held several shot glasses and two long drinks.

“Here drink this!” He held out one of the shot glasses for Max and took one for himself. “Cheers!” He chinked their glasses before downing his shot in one go. Max hesitated for a second but Leon was right. He needed to gain more confidence. And what better way to do that than excessive alcohol consumption, right?

Soon, they had tossed down half of the shots and Max was beginning to feel more at ease, with himself but also with Leon. They had been talking for a while now and Max found himself growing quite fond of his new neighbour. He was funny and smart and, as he found out, liked to take the dogs from the local animal shelter for a walk in his free time.

Suddenly, Leon stopped talking mid-sentence. “Oh my God! I love that song! Come on!” He got up and tugged at Max’s shirt.

“Really?” Max gave him a sceptical look. He never would’ve thought Leon to be a Beyoncé fan but then again, who wasn’t?

“Yes, really! Now get off your ass and dance with me!”

“Alright, alright!” He followed Leon onto the dancefloor, shoving through the crowd until they found a spot where they had some space without being squashed by the people around them.

Max motioned for him to get moving. “Okay, show me your best dance moves!”

Leon raised his brows. “You sure you're ready for this? Watch out! I'm gonna murder this dancefloor! My skills will blow you away!”

Max could feel a grin spreading on his face. “Yeah, right! Stop bragging and just do it!”

“Okay, get ready for it!” He stood still for a few seconds, composing himself, before he started doing the weirdest dance moves, moving completely out of step, throwing in some dabs and even finger guns and sung along totally out of tune.

It all looked so bizarre and hilarious that Max tried really hard to stifle his giggles but he was already a bit tipsy and seeing Leon going crazy like that seemed like the funniest thing ever so he couldn’t keep from bursting out laughing.

“Oh my God, that’s terrible! I don’t know you!”

Leon joined in the laughter and it was such a cliché but Max couldn’t help but feel like time went by in slow-motion. He knew that it probably wasn't a good idea but Leon's smile was literally to die for and he really, really wanted to know what his lips tasted like. And it's not like he would destroy years of friendship if he risked it.

_Fuck it!_

Before Leon had a chance to realise what was happening Max had got on his tiptoes, had put a hand on Leon’s neck to pull him towards him and had pressed his lips on Leon’s.

He braced himself for the rejection, for being pushed back, for the anger and disgust in Leon's eyes.

But none of that happened.

Instead, Leon deepened the kiss. He traced his tongue over Max’s lips, biting down gently. His hands came up to grab Max’s hips, holding him close and steady while Max was practically melting on the inside. Leon ground against him causing him to let out a soft moan. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He could feel the blood rushing through him and his heart beating faster.

It was Leon who broke the kiss after a while, leaving them both panting, but he didn’t let go of Max. Their foreheads touching, he let out a shaky breath and smiled. “You’re not supposed to kiss the wingman.”

“But what if he’s the most handsome guy in the room?”

Leon chuckled. “Then I guess you had no other choice.”

-

Max woke up feeling something warm snuggled up against his back. He opened his eyes to a room that was unfamiliar to him, which confused him even more before all the memories of the previous night came rushing back to him.

After their first kiss they had made out for what felt like hours before eventually taking a taxi back home. Leon had dragged him into his apartment where they continued their make-out session on Leon’s bed.

Max turned around, careful not to move too much so as not to wake Leon but the latter was already stirring.

“Morning.” He mumbled and opened his eyes to look at Max, almost taking away his breath. How can someone who literally just woke up be so beautiful?

He lifted his arm to run his fingers through Leon’s hair. “Can I ask you a question?”

Leon nodded. “Go ahead.”

“When was the last time you took somebody home with you and didn’t have sex with them?”

“To be honest, I don’t remember but hey, I said I’d get you laid and you’re lying in my bed right now so I’d say that’s a good start.” He grinned lazily.

Max snorted. “Shut up.”

„Make me.”

“You sure you don’t want me to make you scream, instead?” Max laughed at Leon’s expression but before he could retort anything Max had captured his lips in his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://reuer.tumblr.com).


End file.
